Pez Wars
by Kyia-Kenobi
Summary: When Luke asked Mara to marry him, there was one condition she imposed that he really didn't expect. *Finished*
1. Every saga has a beginning

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, Lucas and his homies do, unless you don't recognise one and then it may be mine. I don't own the pez company either (but I do own a pez, go me!!!!)  
  
Intro  
  
Visably bracing himself, Luke Skywalker reached over and took her hand again "Mara… will you marry me?"  
  
"You mean if we get out of here alive?"  
  
Luke shook his head "I mean regardless"  
  
Mara took a deep breath and composed herself to give him a reply, "There's nothing more I would like in the world, except maybe to get out of this place, but oh Luke I can't"  
  
The Jedi tore his eyes away from her undeniably crushed "I understand"  
  
"No farm boy you don't. When I was younger I made myself a promise, more of an oath. I can only marry a man if he" She paused as if this confession was monumental   
  
"Yes?" Luke prompted, hope suddenly rising in his eyes.  
  
"If he buys me a pez"  
  
He titled his head to look at her with an expression of bewilderment on his face "A pez?"  
  
"Yes" A blissful look crossed her face that he had never seen before "You know those cute little sweet dispenser things??"  
  
"Yes Mara, I know what a pez is. At what age exactly did you make this promise to yourself?"  
  
The assassin turned smuggler shrugged "Five, but what does it matter. A promise is a promise Luke. I just can't break it".  
  
Luke smiled lightly, thinking it best to humour her "Well I guess I'll have to find one when we get out of here"  
  
"Oh Luke" 


	2. It started with a Pez

On the returning journey Skywalker looked over at his almost fiancée and wondered if she's sustained a concussion while fighting the sentinels.  
  
She saw his concerned gaze and smiled back "Not far from Coruscant now farmboy, glad to be back?"  
  
He sighed "It'll be a nice change to go for a couple of days without having shoot me" And he thought, to get to the first sweet shop he could find to end the whole business of this pez thing. "Mara, can I ask you something? Why a pez?"  
  
She shrugged again "Dunno can't remember."  
  
Its probably due to the fact that the Emperor gave her a blasters as Christmas presents, he reasoned "It's not just some way of telling me no"  
  
She laughed lightly "No Luke, it's just something that's very important to me. Look at it as a sign that I'm ready to move forward into a new life, as a Jedi and with you"  
  
"I thought that was supposed to be Jade's Fire," He muttered under his breath so low that she couldn't hear.   
  
"What was that Skywalker?"  
  
"I said I can't wait" He smiled falsely He was defiantly getting a twoonebe to check her out.  
  
The stolen ship landed and Leia and Karrde greeted them.  
  
/Luke are you all right?/ She said through the twin bond that they shared   
  
Mara stood casually, one hand on her hip, "I managed to get him back in one piece for you."  
  
Talon smiled thin lipped, knowing Mara was using the bravado to cover up the fact that the Jedi Master had come to save her "Anything interesting?"  
  
"No" Luke interrupted quickly "Everything was fine" There was no way he wanted to become the butt of the smuggler's guild "I could use a shower though, Mara, maybe you should get yourself checked over"  
  
Mara looked back at him incredulous "Farmboy I'm fine"  
  
"Just in case Mara"  
  
"Skywalker" She said through clenched teeth.  
  
Leia interrupted trying to defuse the tension "Why don't you come over for dinner tonight Mara. I'm sure you'll both be fine after some sleep"  
  
The new Jedi shrugged with indifference "Okay"  
  
"Umm, I've got something to do first, I'll see you all at dinner" Luke turned around and headed for an information terminal that could tell him where he might find a pez.  
  
He missed his almost fiancée's smile. 


	3. Author's gloat, I mean note

I'm off to greece for two months so pez wars will not be updated for a while, stay with me, promise to continue when I get back! 


	4. Pez Wars Xtreme

"Right" He scanned the horizon of Coruscant wondering which direction to take before marching to a sweet shop he had been dragged to by Anakin and the Twins.   
  
The bell rang as he walked in the door of the shop towards an uninterested shop assistant, more intent on examining her cuticles, than removing her head phones to serve the Jedi Master.  
  
"Um" Luke asked doggedly "Do have a pez?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's for my niece" He rushed quickly.  
  
"That's what they all say" She replied obviously bored.  
  
"Well do you have one?"  
  
She shook her head "Good luck, it's the latest craze, all the kids in the inner rim are trying to get their hands on one".  
  
Luke groaned.  
  
The next shop that he managed to locate was even worse.  
  
"No, a PEZ" Luke over enunciated   
  
"Ahhhhh" The Quarren, who's Basic was severely lacking said. He proceeded to reach under the counter to produce a round red hat with black tassels coming out of the top.  
  
Luke slammed his hand into his forehead "A P-E-Z, sweet dispenser?"  
  
Four wax candles were placed in front of him  
  
"No!" Said Luke loudly, his patience more stretched then with the whole 'don't go to Bespin' episode. "Pez" He tried to draw it in the air with his finger. The Quarren smiled knowingly and handed Luke a tube of cream and a pessory.  
  
The Candy Emporium was huge and Luke was more than a bit daunted. Row upon row upon row of shelves on more aisles than he had seen in his life and children swarmed over them, an normally adult attached to the arm with a look like they had just run a gauntlet of TIEs armed only with a water pistol. The Jedi Master resisted the temptation to put his hands over his ears to block out the almost deafening cries of "I want it NOW!" "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy look!" "Sugar!" "But it's my favourite!", somewhere in this seething mass of confectionary and irate shoppers there had to be a pez.  
  
Luke grabbed a spotty male adolescent shop assistant wearing a yellow badge that said 'Hi I'm Mike, How can I help you?' and a ridiculous neon pink shirt "Do you know where I can find a pez?"  
  
"Please don't hurt me" Beads of sweat rolled off his nose in rivers created by the channels between his acne, "I just work here, honest, and if we've under ordered something it's not my fault. "   
  
"Ummm I just want to know if you have a Pez?"  
  
The assistant twitched nervously, his eyes glazed over like a young nerf caught between a rancor's claws; he took a breath and held it for a second. Just as Luke thought he was going to turn blue he opened his mouth and screamed at the top of his voice before sprinting at full speed through a door that said 'authorised personnel only'. Then there was the sound of several bolts being drawn. From the Force signatures he was not the only member of staff crouched in the hiding place.  
  
As he caught a glimpse of the end of the aisle he suddenly wished he could join 'Mike' in his little 'authorised personnel only' bunker. A huge sign taller than Chewie spelt out in red letters P-E-Z stood immediately in front of him. Kids hung off the sign, swinging from the loops on the italic letters as pale-faced parents fought each other to get to the few remaining on the shelves. Luke held his breath and dived into the throng. Using the Force to jump over most of the parents a grabbed a pez with an x-wing atop it and for a brief second with sighed relief.   
  
An infuriated Wookiee grasped Luke by the throat, holding a bowcaster to his head. The Wookiee growled and Luke reluctantly handed over his prize.  
  
"Pssssssss" Another assistant, this one with a mullet (bad 80s haircut for all you yanks out there) and a badge saying 'I'm Chuck, how can I help you?' "Wanna Pez?" He said huskily.  
  
"Errrrr, yeah" Luke replied uncertainly.   
  
He handed him a card with an address on it "Try here, there's a little less competition".  
  
Luke perked up. Thank the Force for contraband. But it was not contraband, it was worse.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"The last sweet shop on Coruscant" He muttered to himself, wondering what would happen if any reporters happened to see him entering the seedy establishment of Ye Olde Imperial Sweet Shop.   
  
He scanned the shelves in a mixture of amusement and chagrin, Dark Lord Lozenges, Sugar Force Pikes, Alderaan's Dust Sherbet, AS-AT Jellies, and Luke's personal favourite, Indestructible Death Star Gobstoppers.   
  
Then it caught his eye, "At last, success!" He reached for the pez, pulling it out from under a pile of candy red lightsabres. His hopes were dashed when he saw what cute figure they had placed on the top.   
  
The side of the packet boasted Emperor Palpatine Pez, REALLY talks, an Empire endorsed product. He pressed the top of the pez and the smiley face of the pez said 'serve the Empire' and his eyes flashed yellow before a TIE fighter shaped sweet fell out of the bottom.  
  
Luke soon realised that this was the only pez he was ever get his hands on. Mara was going to kill him.   
  
Hey all, I managed to find an internet cafe just down the road in greece so I can update (yay!!!!) when I have the euros to do so, anyway, hope you enjoyed this instalment of Pez Wars. If you liked this you may wanna check out Star Wars, A new rabbit, I think it's funnier than this but r'nr and give me your opinion cos I'm lacking reviews on this story. 


	5. The final chapter

Talon tutted "A pez, Mara, you couldn't have done something less…"  
  
The ex Emperor's hand placed her hands on her hips "I didn't exactly have much time to think about it, he just sprang it on me." She let a sly smile escape her lips "Was worth it when you saw his face though".  
  
"I bet the Jedi Master didn't see that one coming" Karrde laughed in his booming voice   
  
"Reckon he's figured it out yet?" She sighed "I'm surprised Han hasn't let him in on it, assuming he's gotten over his big Jedi pride and told him" Mara pondered  
  
He slapped her on the back "If not then you're going to be waiting a very long time"  
  
"Why"  
  
Talon pulled a face "Have you any idea how difficult to get a pez in this day an age?"  
  
"There was something she wanted me to get for her before she could agree to marry me to signify a new start"  
  
"Oh Luke that's beautiful" Leia cooed tearfully, wishing that her proposal had been a little more romantic and a little less, well kidnappish.  
  
"I looked everywhere, but the only one I could find was" He paused to find a way of phrasing what he wanted to "unsuitable" The Jedi held up the Emperor pez   
  
Han sniggered "A pez?"  
  
"Yeah" Luke looked miserable   
  
Han laughed some more  
  
"Don't be so insensitive" Leia scolded "its so, well un-mara like"  
  
"Oh that's a classic!" He wiped a tear away from his eye   
  
"Han!" His wife put her hands on her hips that in a gesture meant she was really mad.  
  
"Sorry, Leia. But that's gotta be one of the most original ones I've come across"  
  
Luke looked up "What do you mean? One of what?"  
  
Han slapped his brother in law on the back "I can't believe you didn't know, kid"  
  
"Know what?" His face fell.  
  
Han held up his hands "Can't tell kid, smugglers code"  
  
Leia grabbed her husband by his collar, "Han you tell Luke what's going on right now"  
  
"Well" Han looked around nervously "If it ever gets out that I told you I'm never going to show my face on the Kessel Run again"   
  
Leia removed her lightsabre from her belt "If you don't tell me then you're never kids again"  
  
Han swallowed "Okay princess. You see the thing is Luke, when a female smuggler is gets hitched she has to do some kind of practical joke on the husband to be" Han started to snigger again "She has to get him to find something ridiculous. The better it is the more behaved her friends are at the wedding."  
  
Leia laughed along with her husband, finally seeing the joke. "And Mara asked for a Pez! Oh that's funny, I take it she has an idea about how difficult they are to find" Her face straightened "Why you didn't just ask us to lend you Anakin's I don't know"  
  
"Anakin has one?" Luke looked at her incredulous.  
  
"Oh no little brother, I'm not going to give it to you now"   
  
Han grabbed his wife and pulled her onto his lap "I think the Solo charm has rubbed off on her"  
  
"Leia!"  
  
She smiled at him sweetly "Who am I to mess with tradition?"   
  
  
  
"Hey farmboy"  
  
Luke choked on his cafe "Hi Mara"  
  
She peered round the door coyly "How's it going?"  
  
"Ummm" He swallowed "Fine"  
  
"Then you got it" She clasped her hands together in excitement.  
  
"Sorta"  
  
Her expression changed "What do you mean sorta" She glared at him.  
  
"Well" He handed over the pez "The only one I could find was in Ye Olde Imperial Sweet Shop"  
  
Mara laughed, she could not help it; his face was so sincere. She pressed the top of the Pez and the Emperor's tones of 'serve the Empire' made her chuckle even harder "It's great, thanks".  
  
"Yes" He replied sullenly, "Han did tell me afterwards"  
  
"Oh Luke, I'm sorry" She wiped a stray tear away from her eye "I couldn't help it. I was duty bound to make you sweat, just a little".  
  
He looked up still not impressed "Duty bound?"  
  
"Talon would have killed me. Still want to ask me to marry you?"  
  
"Depends whether you are going to accept or not"  
  
Mara smiled  
  
The End.  
  
Hope you enjoyed it, blah blah blah. Go Pez. 


End file.
